— genuine connection is ease.
It is peace. When you find it, you will know.
You will feel seen, you will feel like you are
discovering the shadow of your own heart
in another human being.
Slowly, through loving the right people,
you will come to realize that the human beings
who are meant for you in this world will not
exhaust you, or hollow you out, or leave you
Slowly, you will come to realize that you do not
have to romanticize the things in this life that hurt.
You do not have to run towards the fire.
Love does not have to feel like a fight,
does not have to feel like battle,
does not have to wound.
Slowly, you will learn how to lay down your arms.
How to walk away from those who will only ever love you in halves.
Slowly, you will learn that you cannot love someone into loving you, or being ready, if they are not.
You cannot love someone into their potential.
You cannot close their hands around your heart
if they are not willing to hold it themselves.
You have to let them go.
You have to focus on the people in your life
who bring you back home to yourself.
You have to focus on standing up for that kind
of connection, on honoring that calm,
because it exists. It exists.
And I hope you learn to trust that, because
when you come across it, when you ultimately
experience it, it feels as if you are standing
at a door you finally have the keys for.
You enter it with ease.
There is no fumbling through your jacket pocket trying to find the right way in.
There is no desperately reaching into your bag trying to uncover the point of access.
You are no longer banging your fists
against the door, asking to be invited in.
You walk through. Soundlessly. Softly.
Relief washes over you. You take off your shoes.
You hang your coat in the closet.
You put on a pot of coffee.
You’re home. You’re home.”
By Ryan Johnson
